Month: July 2018

Public Loo Etiquette: Based on True Stories

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Have you ever wondered why public bathrooms are called restrooms? There is no rest to be had in any public restroom, just stress, fear, and anxiety. Listen, if I want to rest, I’ll just stay home and lie on the couch or go to bed.  Why in the world would anyone want to rest in a room with a toilet shared by many, many people, strangers even, most of whom have poor hygiene, disregard for others, perverted tendencies or diseases, just to name a few.

Those paper barriers used to protect my buttocks from others’ residue? FAIL! They never work for me. Great concept, poor design.

 

toilet-seat-covers_c3t6s0

 

Before sitting down on a foreign toilet seat, I usually grab a paper seat protector and one of 3 things happens:

  • As I pull it out of the container, it rips in half, and I have to work at figuring out how to best place the two halves on the seat without actually touching it.
  • I place it on the horseshoe-shaped potty and right when I am about to sit down, whooooooooosh, it flies off the seat and lands on the floor. At that point, it is much too late to stop my downward sitting motion; my bare ass comes into uncomfortable contact with the grimy seat, and I feel deeply disgusted with myself and others.
  • I get the protector in place, plop down and realize there were drops of liquid on the seat, which immediately seeped through the paper. Once again, I  find myself sitting on the bare porcelain, questioning the mystery substance – Water? Urine? Other fowl liquid? No clue, but when I am done, I stand up, only to have the seat protector stuck to my bottom, in a last ditch effort to come home with me.

 

After dinner in a fine restaurant one evening, I had to use the facilities. Protector in place, I sit down and discover that the toilet seat is warm….really warm, as if someone had actually camped out there for a good chunk of time. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

japanese-toilet-1

Trying to chase the disturbing thoughts about why someone would sit there for an hour or so before moving on, I sensed a subtle vibration on my flesh. What the heck?  And it came to me! I was sitting on one of those Japanese toilets that cleans, washes, dries, hydrates, plays music, massages and sends messages to your friends and family. This contraption had the capacity to do everything but pee for me!

Recently at the airport, I was delighted to see an automated plastic version of the paper seat protectors. Yessssss!!! Someone’s been thinking! Relaxed, I sit down, do what I gotta do and stand back up. Just when I’m about to try and figure out how to leave a new, fresh cover for the next water-logged person,  I noticed the instructions. First, swipe hand over the sensor to change the soiled plastic cover. Second, simply sit on fresh, hygienic germ-free plastic!   Fuck my life. I could not get this straight if my existence depended on it.

Tanzania, 2005. I’ve never been so stressed out in a “restroom.” Me, Gilles, Yohan and 2 male guides were out on a safari for a week. During the day, they would make several stops, all disappearing behind the car for a brief moment before hopping back in to continue the journey. Within a minute or 2, someone would spot a wild animal. “Look at the lion in the tree!” Yohan shouted gleefully. Sure enough, high on a branch, a lion would be peering at us hungrily.

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Tanzania, 2000

Having drunk a LOT of water one morning, my bladder was about to burst. I could not hold it any longer!  “Can we stop to pee?” I asked the driver sheepishly? The guides looked concerned. Mumbling something to each other in Swahili, the driver’s assistant flashed me an open hand with 5 fingers. “Gilles, I whispered. Does that mean 5 minutes or is that their way of telling me to stop talking and shut my mouth?

The jeep came to a sudden halt and in the distance, 500 feet away, was an outhouse. Thank God! About to open the door, our guide yelled, “WAIT LADY!!”  He made rounds with his fingers, put them up to his eyes explaining he first had to look around with binoculars to make sure the coast was clear……of lions!

He’s kidding, right?

“Lady!!” He shouted. “Come! Come Quickly!”  My fierce family stayed in the safe vehicle while I  stumbled among the brush toward the empty outhouse. My guide guarding the building, I hurriedly stepped inside to find a hole with massive African flies swarming by the hundreds. On the positive side, I had not to worry about the paper toilet covers, squirting toilets or anything else. My one and only job was to pee and get back to safety.

Ever try to urinate squatting over a fly-infested hole, with no railings, no toilet paper, no nothing…..but a knife-carrying safari guide who wants nothing else but to get the hell out of there? The more he screamed, “Quickly. Quickly!” the longer it took. The stream would just altogether stop even though my bladder was still full to the brim. Worse yet, my quads ached, trembled and protested as I willed the liquid to leave my body. I would have leaned on my elbows more, but one arm was always in the air, swatting the indestructible tsetse flies. After what seemed like an eternity, I was empty. Guided at a very quick pace back to the jeep, we got out of there as quickly as possible.

Image result for tsetse flies

2 short minutes later, Yohan, AKA Mr. Eagle Eyes, excitedly spied a hyena munching on some sort of putrid bone. That could have been my own arm, most likely my humerus, I thought.

Hyena-Main

There are only two logical solutions to the above dilemmas:

  • Stay home. Going out is overrated.
  • Purchase a Disposable Female Urinal Funnel Device and have them on hand 24/7. They come in handy on a safari and allow you to fit in with the other guys on the trip! No more special stops!

product-image-721963482_1024x1024

Next on Best Foot 4 Ward blog: The Toilet Paper Tragedies:

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The Ask: Fundraising Tips!

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Idling outside a business in Charlotte, VT, I glance at my brother who is skimming his notes, “Owner’s first name is Phil. Started the company in 1984. My friend, Tina knows Phil’s wife, Patty because their kids ride horses. Got it. ” Then turning to me, with a smirk, he reminds me of my role, “Okay, Let’s go. Remember, you look around the store and buy something, and when you are ready to make your purchase, find me and I’ll introduce you to the person in charge.”  And off we go – Chris with his Cycle 4 CMT flyers and his iPad, and me with my credit card.

 

Chris with chef, Maura O’Sullivan, at Penny Cluse Cafe  – a proud sponsor of the VT Cycle 4 CMT event!

Entering the store, Chris will ask for “Phil” while I  start browsing. Chris does his thing, I do mine and he usually walks away with a sponsorship for the Cycle 4 CMT event. And me? I get in the car with a new shirt, a few gifts, and other amazing VT products, like Maple Syrup (If you don’t like maple, you might as well skip the trip to Vermont-and just give a donation. Everything, and I mean everything has maple in it.)

On a more serious note, asking for charitable contributions, even for a great cause like the CMTA, can feel scary and awkward, but if you are genuinely interested in people and truly believe in your cause, success is definitely attainable.   I’ve asked for a lot of donations over the past 15 years for the CMTA, but watching Chris in action raised has my fundraising IQ considerably. Here are a few takeaways:

 

The More You Know – Chris always does his research before walking into a store or business. He finds the owners’ names, reads about their backgrounds and tries to find a common link, interest, or point of contact. This commonality, once discovered, will definitely make the discussion and ensuing conversation flow more easily.

Description –  Keep it short, make it personal. After finding the key person, who might initially be a bit guarded (as would anyone when approached by 2 determined strangers on a mission), Chris makes and keeps eye contact when explaining the details of the upcoming event: 5th annual Cycle 4 CMT. Nephew has CMT or Charcot-Marie-Tooth, not Country Music Television. A disease that attacks the nerves. Loss of function of the hands, arms, feet, and legs. The event has raised a lot of money for CMT research, our sponsor list is growing every year. Then, he usually shows the person the event website, the list of donors and a few pictures of Yohan). Pictures are worth a thousand words.

Yohan and Uncle Chris

The Story –-As an avid cyclist, skier, hiker born and raised in VT, Chris professes, “I often wish I could spend a day skiing or cycling with Yohan. He used to snowboard, but that ended when he developed CMT-related back problems and his feet, so deformed, could no longer fit in a ski boot.” Remembering the disappointment, I too start to choke up. He continues, ” I wanted to help him, but how? And then it came to me – Why not put on a CMTA fundraiser in support of CMT research, connecting the passion and energy that Vermonters possess for outdoor activities? As a result, the Cycle 4 CMT was born in the summer of 2014.

Empowerment – Chris’ delivery is moving and heartfelt. He speaks with conviction and confidence, empowering others to be part of the movement to end CMT. And it works. Why? People feel a connection to Chris’s story, to Yohan’s journey and to our determination to raise the critical funds needed to get us to clinical trials.  Feeling our great sense of urgency, people want to take action and get involved in something bigger than themselves. Ultimately, giving back unleashes opportunity. potential and a powerful force of good in the world.

 

DSC_82183rd Annual Cycle 4 CMT 2016 Kevin
Kevin is more than a hero – he’s a superhero!

 

Thank You – You can never say it enough. We appreciate everyone involved with the Cycle (and Walk!) 4 CMT event, from sponsors to participants, and donors to volunteers. You are our heroes. It takes a lot of compassionate, kind, generous people to bring about change in the world and we are fortunate to have you by our side, fighting the CMT battle. Your involvement and consideration also provides promise and hope to the Yohans of the world who are deeply moved by the fact that you genuinely care.

 

So, when you approach someone for a donation, be confident and tell your story from the heart. What’s the worst that can happen? For diverse reasons, you may get a “no, thanks.” That’s okay. Don’t take it personally. Just know that you have succeeded in informing one more person about CMT.

 

Now, you have a few fundraising tools, so start a walk, a cycle, a sit-a-thon – whatever. Or, if you can’t do it this year, give to the Cycle 4 CMT.  If you cannot make it, we came up with a new feature: the VIRTUAL walk or Cycle.  Now anyone, anywhere can take part in the Cycle (and Walk!) 4 CMT. For more info: www.cycle4cmt.com.

 

PS: Just an FYI-This year, Chris joined in on the shopping spree. He ended up buying this top from one of our new sponsors – AJ’s Ski and Sports!! : I love visiting our sponsors!

The ASK – An Unbelievably True Story about CMT

bestfootforwardweb3 Comments

 

 

 

 

 

Idling outside a business in Charlotte, VT, I glance at my brother who is skimming his notes, “Owner’s first name is Phil. Started the company in 1984. My friend, Tina knows Phil’s wife, Patty because their kids ride horses. Got it. ” Then turning to me, with a smirk, he reminds me of my role, “Okay, Let’s go. Remember, you look around the store and buy something, and when you are ready to make your purchase, find me and I’ll introduce you to the person in charge.”  And off we go – Chris with his Cycle 4 CMT flyers and his iPad, and me with my credit card.

 

Chris with chef, Maura O’Sullivan, at Penny Cluse Cafe  – a proud sponsor of the VT Cycle 4 CMT event!

 

Entering the store, Chris will ask for “Phil” while I  start browsing. Chris does his thing, I do mine and he usually walks away with a sponsorship for the Cycle 4 CMT event. And me? I get in the car with a new shirt, a few gifts, and other amazing VT products, like Maple Syrup (If you don’t like maple, you might as well skip the trip to Vermont-and just give a donation. Everything, and I mean everything has maple in it.)

On a more serious note, asking for charitable contributions, even for a great cause like the CMTA, can feel scary and awkward, but if you are genuinely interested in people and truly believe in your cause, success is definitely attainable.   I’ve asked for a lot of donations over the past 15 years for the CMTA, but watching Chris in action raised has my fundraising IQ considerably. Here are a few takeaways:

 

The More You Know – Chris always does his research before walking into a store or business. He finds the owners’ names, reads about their backgrounds and tries to find a common link, interest, or point of contact. This commonality, once discovered, will definitely make the discussion and ensuing conversation flow more easily.

Description –  Keep it short, make it personal. After finding the key person, who might initially be a bit guarded (as would anyone when approached by 2 determined strangers on a mission), Chris makes and keeps eye contact when explaining the details of the upcoming event: 5th annual Cycle 4 CMT. Nephew has CMT or Charcot-Marie-Tooth, not Country Music Television. A disease that attacks the nerves. Loss of function of the hands, arms, feet, and legs. The event has raised a lot of money for CMT research, our sponsor list is growing every year. Then, he usually shows the person the event website, the list of donors and a few pictures of Yohan). Pictures are worth a thousand words.

Yohan and Uncle Chris

The Story –-As an avid cyclist, skier, hiker born and raised in VT, Chris professes, “I often wish I could spend a day skiing or cycling with Yohan. He used to snowboard, but that ended when he developed CMT-related back problems and his feet, so deformed, could no longer fit in a ski boot.” Remembering the disappointment, I too start to choke up. He continues, ” I wanted to help him, but how? And then it came to me – Why not put on a CMTA fundraiser in support of CMT research, connecting the passion and energy that Vermonters possess for outdoor activities? As a result, the Cycle 4 CMT was born in the summer of 2014.

Empowerment – Chris’ delivery is moving and heartfelt. He speaks with conviction and confidence, empowering others to be part of the movement to end CMT. And it works. Why? People feel a connection to Chris’s story, to Yohan’s journey and to our determination to raise the critical funds needed to get us to clinical trials.  Feeling our great sense of urgency, people want to take action and get involved in something bigger than themselves. Ultimately, giving back unleashes opportunity. potential and a powerful force of good in the world.

 

DSC_82183rd Annual Cycle 4 CMT 2016 Kevin
Kevin is more than a hero – he’s a superhero!

 

Thank You – You can never say it enough. We appreciate everyone involved with the Cycle (and Walk!) 4 CMT event, from sponsors to participants, and donors to volunteers. You are our heroes. It takes a lot of compassionate, kind, generous people to bring about change in the world and we are fortunate to have you by our side, fighting the CMT battle. Your involvement and consideration also provides promise and hope to the Yohans of the world who are deeply moved by the fact that you genuinely care.

 

So, when you approach someone for a donation, be confident and tell your story from the heart. What’s the worst that can happen? For diverse reasons, you may get a “no, thanks.” That’s okay. Don’t take it personally. Just know that you have succeeded in informing one more person about CMT.

 

Now, you have a few fundraising tools, so start a walk, a cycle, a sit-a-thon – whatever. Or, if you can’t do it this year, give to the Cycle 4 CMT.  If you cannot make it, we came up with a new feature: the VIRTUAL walk or Cycle.  Now anyone, anywhere can take part in the Cycle (and Walk!) 4 CMT. For more info: www.cycle4cmt.com.

 

PS: Just an FYI-This year, Chris joined in on the shopping spree. He ended up buying this top from one of our new sponsors – AJ’s Ski and Sports!! : I love visiting our sponsors!