Surgery

CMT Is Exhausting: 5 Insider Tips For Friends

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Judging a Book by its Cover-Just Don’t

“Who is that girl?” she asked, squinting warily while jerking her chin forward like a rooster, not so discreetly pointing out the slim, well-dressed woman in question. “She doesn’t have CMT! Look at those heels!! Pfft! Forget about it. She’s a fraud!” It’s true, Jeana did not appear to have CMT on the outside, but her past revealed a different reality. Surgeries on both feet when she was only 16 helped her gait immensely, enabling her to walk brace free today.

However, if you look real close, her pinky toes look funky, betraying a harrowing brush

.

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Jeana’s pinky toe reacts to the surgeon’s scalpel.

with a surgeon’s scalpel. “No need to worry about the little toes on each foot.” the surgeon grinned. “I simply removed all the bones! All fixed!” So, instead of hammer toes, sticking up and out, she ended up with cute, floppy, puppy dog ear toes, which prove to be quite the challenge when wearing sandals.

Floppy toes, like floppy ears, have a mind of their own!

People’s CMT vary dramatically from one person to another, and telltale symptoms of foot drop, muscle wasting, fatigue, pain are not always super obvious. So, to my embarrassment, I often forget she has CMT.

But, I forgot you have CMT!!

How many times has CMT gotten me into trouble? When Jeana and I organize CMTA conferences together, we always do our best to make sure that everything is handicapped accessible; tongs are not used, tables are separated, leaving enough room for scooters and wheelchairs to pass, boxed lunches are chosen over buffets. Inevitably, no matter how much we prep the hotel staff, someone always seems to make a mistake, and we have to think fast on our feet to rectify the situation.

At the Patient and Family conference we held in Los Angeles a few years back, I remember the room being stuffy and hot. After 90 minutes of sweating and fanning ourselves with the paper programs, we took our first 15-minute break. “A big round of applause for Dr. So and So…what an informative presentation!” I exclaimed into the microphone.   “Now, let’s take a few minutes to stretch and quench your thirst with some nice, refreshing beverages. We’ll see you back here in 15 minutes.” I walked out into the hall, and what do I see? Big, heavy pitchers of water and lemonade. Merde!

Making life difficult for people with CMT.

We quickly asked family and friends without CMT or hand weakness to serve the drinks during the break.  After about 5 minutes, I look over at the drink station and our beverage volunteer happened to have wandered off and just disappeared into thin air. People were thirsty….parched even and getting more and more impatient while shifting their weight from left to right, left to right just to stop from teetering over (keeping your balance while standing is difficult with CMT).

I ran over and filled the empty spot for a couple of minutes before my little eye spied Jeana, who was talking, and talking and talking (no surprise there, right?), to a conference attendee.

I spied Jeana with my little eye.

“Jeana,” I blurted out frantically and a bit too harshly,  “if you can’t find someone to stay at the water station, just stand here and serve the beverages to these poor people with CMT who are struggling.” She looked at me in disbelief. Her face expressed what she was thinking. “Really? You are asking me to fill glasses, dumb ass? I too have CMT!” But being the mature and respectful person we’ve all grown to admire and love, she nodded her head and made her way to the water station and tried her best to serve our conference clientele. When I realized what I had asked of her, I regretted it….immediately.  Not because I made her suffer, but because she would never let me live this situation down….EVER!  As much as she did not say in the moment, she let her thoughts be known loud and clear after the conference. In fact, she won’t hesitate to bring this up when she needs a little extra material to tease me with. I hear her voice now, “Oh, really? I’ve got a better one. Elizabeth, remember that day when….  “

Sassy!

People with CMT are fighters with motivation, determination, strength, and willpower. Some are a bit sassy, too! One day, wearing my very concerned and sad face, crying-face_1f622I said something like, “Bethany, I don’t know how you do it every day.  Just putting on socks, braces, and shoes takes so long. It all seems so limiting.”   I was attempting, albeit poorly, to relate to her emotionally in some small way.  Thankfully, I have a Master degree in Counseling Psychology, which makes communication with people from all walks of life so much easier (Like Judge Judy below, I’m inflicting some heavy duty eye rolling on myself right now).

If you know Bethany, she usually thinks through her answers before responding. Not that day! That fine afternoon she was quick and sharp, replying without missing a beat, “Yeah, it’s not the best, but I feel fortunate that I’m walking. From wheelchair to walking is a pretty huge deal.” There was a short hesitation before she emphatically reminded me that she was able to walk much further and longer than I can…a LOT further and a LOT longer. “You are limited by your foot pain.  My braces have set me free!” she replied without flinching.

IN YOUR FACE! OUCH! Insert knife and rotate slowly 3 times. I mean, what do you say to that? ……..Exactly. I said nothing and followed her progress as she trained to walk a 5-day 40 Mile Trek of Peddars Way in Norfolk, England! She succeeded and came through with flying colors!

Bethany walking and training. I am in the picture for effect only. 🙂

Just Ask

I had spoken over the phone to Bethany quite a few times before she moved to the Bay Area in 2012. We had some great conversations, talked about volunteer opportunities and CMTA-related projects. When she moved here, we made a lunch date. I drove. On the way to the restaurant, I asked 100 million questions to which she sequentially answered, “Yes. No, I don’t know”  over and over again until I got really bad cotton mouth from talking too much. So, I stopped blabbering and lived painfully through seconds upon seconds of dreadful silence (The longest ten seconds I’d ever experienced –  it felt more like 10 hours- can you tell I’m an extrovert and hyperactive?) Bethany started to loosen up by the end of lunch, and I caught a few glimpses of the witty and sardonic person living and breathing underneath that cloak of quiet reservation.

Heading back to the car, we crossed the road and I saw that she was struggling a bit to walk, but I did not know if she needed or wanted help. What to do? So, I did absolutely nothing. I pretended she wasn’t struggling and that everything was A-Okay. Walking a step or 2 in front of her, I heard a faint whisper, “Elizabeth?”  I turned around to an outreached hand.  “Can you give me your arm to cross the road?” she asked politely (her mother did a hell of a job teaching this girl manners). My elbow jutted out in a microsecond and off we went, arm in arm across the road. Walking harmoniously side by side, she interjected, with a mischievous grin,” Jeesh. You of all people did not think of lending a helping hand? I’m so disappointed.” WHOA! The girl is a live wire….a comedian! This snarky comment was proof that her dad was also very involved in her upbringing. From that moment on, we became forever friends.

Laughter Really is the best Medicine!

The CMTA held its first-ever leader conference in Las Vegas many years ago. Leaders from all over the US attended, forming bonds of friendship and caring. The first evening, after dinner, we all made our way to our rooms, preparing for a very long day ahead. Breakfast was at 8am sharp the following day. At 7 am, Pat D. our Director of Community Services at the time called me with an urgent request, “ One of our leaders needs help buttoning and zipping his pants.”  Apparently, he lived with family and on his own, buttoning and zipping were practically impossible. “Why do I have to go?” I groaned.  “Can’t we get Dana to go help him…man-to-man? Now, on the verge of yelling, Pat reminded me that, “Dana can’t button or zip his own pants, how is he going to button someone else’s pants?” Good point.

Zippers and Buttons: the enemy

So, off I go to room 3016. When he opened the door, I could tell by his red cheeks that he was quite embarrassed. I felt a bit awkward, but what were our alternatives? I could have insisted that he attend the conference in his boxers, but I’m not usually that mean. So, I simply knelt down in front of him, (please do not visualize this scene!) zipped and buttoned him up and made a joke about the entire scenario. It was a true bonding experience.  The rest of the conference was a no-brainer compared to that experience.

To all my friends with CMT, thank you for trusting me with your struggles, accomplishments, thoughts, and anxieties. And thank you for your patience. I’ve learned so much from every single one of you and continue to learn more every day. And, when I mess up, let me know  – my closest friends don’t let me off the hook, why should you?

Good Friends Are Hard To Find (which can be a very good thing). From Left to right: Me, Bethany, Jeana

The Inside Scoop: The Real Story Behind Bethany’s Book, “How Should a Body Be”?

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One day about 7-8  years ago, I get this random call from a young woman from Michigan. She wanted to volunteer with the CMTA. “Sure!”, I said enthusiastically. “We are always looking for volunteers-ALWAYS!”  Now, compared to my loud, overly animated voice and my quick speaking conversational style, my new friend, Bethany, spoke slowly, methodically and in whispered tones. She actually takes a moment to think before she spoke – a new concept for me.

She wanted to volunteer for CMTA but she was about to have foot surgery, and she assured me that she’d get back to me during or after recovery. I had no expectations, but she did indeed get back.  From this day forward, our friendship blossomed. I crept into her life like mold, and now, she’s never getting rid of me. We are stuck together like velcro.  She moved to London last year, probably hoping the distance would give her some space-WRONG. We talk frequently, Facebook tons, and I’ll be seeing her next week in Miami.

Following her then boyfriend, Josh,  to the Bay Area, California (a joke you’ll understand once you’ve read Bethany’s book), we got to know each other well. She really is not as quiet as you think when you first meet her. In fact, she’s quite chatty and holds her own in debates. From a shy, soft-spoken teen, to a master in digital communications, a successful fundraiser and a moving motivational speaker, Bethany has become a well known and loved figure in the world of CMT.

At 25, Bethany has published her first book, How Should a Body Be? which gives an intimate, honest and heartfelt portrayal of what it is like growing up with different abilities.  She’s a wonderful writer and I am in awe of her strength and “determination”  (I prefer the word stubbornness, but  Bethany’s not thrilled with that word). Here are my thoughts on Bethany’s memoir:

Bethany Meloche’s thoughtful memoir—“How Should a Body Be?”— recounts the life story of a strong-willed young woman with a never-give-up, never-look-back stance to being alive in this world. In a culture that places so much emphasis on physical perfection, many are dissatisfied with their appearance and obsess over achieving unrealistic standards of beauty and fitness. Compound these everyday societal pressures with a progressive neuromuscular disease like Charcot-Marie-Tooth—which causes foot deformities, muscle weakness, tremor and breathing difficulties—and growing up with confidence and assurance becomes that much more arduous.

With wit and humor, Bethany relates the challenges of living in a world where people’s well-intentioned, but short-sighted commentary and feedback inadvertently amplify her feelings of self-doubt, uncertainty, and isolation.

Driven by a lust for knowledge and unquenchable curiosity, Bethany lives each day to the fullest, making her story both unique and inspirational. It would have been easy for Bethany to surrender, to lose hope, to fall into the depths of despair and depression, but by turning her anger outward she discovers strength, willpower, connection and success.
“How Should a Body Be?” is a personal journey toward self-acceptance, healing and living life to its fullest, despite apparent limitations. Mature beyond her years, Bethany offers nuggets of wisdom to be shared, pondered and cherished. Honest, truthful and profoundly insightful, this book is for people with CMT, their families, their friends and anyone who struggles with self-image, confidence and the fear of being seen. This is the best book to date on growing up with physical differences, obvious or not.

 

Bottom line: Buy it. It’s that good. Buy it here:  http://amzn.to/2lBC9cz

Still not convinced? How can you say “no” to this cute face?

Image may contain: 1 person

 

 

“FEEL” is a 4-Letter Word

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Yohan’s Foot Surgery #19

 

 

voices-funny

I hear voices. Eavesdropping, as if I were an innocent bystander, I witness the back and forth volley of words, arguments, and reasoning. Often, I put a harsh stop to the banter, for fear of losing too many precious minutes to internal disputes and emotionally draining debates. Trying to reach my neutral, rational space often feels impossible, like I’m swimming against a strong current intent on overwhelming my frantic efforts.  Yet, somehow, someway, I usually manage to quiet the noise, at least temporarily, and transition into a state of calm deliberation, frantic activity or self-imposed numbness.

Yohan had his first ever foot reconstruction surgery in June and 8 months later, he’s still not walking without using crutches or a knee scooter (see previous blog posts for the whole story). As soon as he starts to put full pressure on his foot, sores develop.

sore

 

When that happens, staying off the foot until it heals is the remedy. To offset the pressure, he had his shoes modified, new orthotics made, which were adjusted again and again and again, only to have the sore reappear when weight-bearing.  I know that all surgeries do not go as planned. You probably also know that surgeries are risky, in many, many ways. But I thought the surgeries that went awry happened to other people.  But this time, Yohan is that other person.

The holidays came and went, and in January we found ourselves at a standstill, not knowing what direction to turn. The last pictures I sent to our surgeon showed how Yohan’s foot had healed, and it did not look right.  For some reason, his heel looked misaligned, causing excessive pronation and weight distribution imbalance.  Our surgeon, Dr. Pfeffer, was perplexed, but to his credit, he’s promised to make it right. Putting ego aside, Dr. Pfeffer is determined to make the next surgery the “last surgery” by asking for second and third opinions from well-respected colleagues.  He wants to make 100% sure that no rock is left unturned before going back in to correct the lopsided foot and straighten Yohan’s toes. His humility, commitment, and compassion command our genuine respect.

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Left Foot After Surgery

Nevertheless, I dread this second surgery. I just want Yohan to be able to walk with ease, even if it is only short distances. And in all honesty, I may have felt, if only for a microsecond, discouraged, angry and saddened by all the challenges Yohan’s already faced throughout his 23 years on this planet, due to the effects of CMT. He complains rarely and manages his day-to-day with laughter, humor, and hope. Yet it is difficult to witness his debilitating fatigue, chronic pain and now, successive surgeries. I wish it weren’t so, but it is so and that’s what is true.

shark

In general, I tend to live in my head, not my heart. Why open up to intense emotion, when the risk is getting sucked up into a vacuum of never-ending despair and misery? When my thoughts become dark, the voices in my head try to cheer me up, scold me for being negative and/or neutralize the negative with positive thoughts. This process has become so automatic that I often no longer know what I feel inside. Many believe that raw emotions, in all their complexity, are an undeniable part of the human experience, serving as a profound source of inner guidance and direction.

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Yeah, well my inner feeling mentor acts more like a sneaky stalker than a trusted ally, ready to pounce when I am least protected. I’d rather stay in the neutral zone and avoid the war-torn areas of my life. Yet I often wonder where those intense feelings go. Do they evaporate? Remain in the body unexpressed and ignored until the pressure builds so, they just explode? Do feelings have feelings? So many questions, so few answers.

The second surgery does not yet have a date, but it will be soon, in the near future. We’re all doing our best and trying to live in the moment. We’ll get through. Thanks for listening. And if you have a moment, let me know how you cope through difficult times. You never know, your advice and feedback may just be of help to others someone else.

Good Friends Are Hard to Find: Yohan’s Foot Surgery – #18

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Good Friends are Hard to Find: CMT feet, Cheetah legs & Time travel

It was in the fall of 9th grade, and Yohan had just twisted his ankle, yet again. It was a bad sprain, nothing a couple weeks of icing and crutches wouldn’t cure. But, a bum ankle was just the tip of the iceberg. Chronic sprains, neuropathic pain, footwear woes were more the norm as his CMT progressed. His good friend Will, trying to make Yohan feel better, innocently came up with a solution to stop the madness. “Yohan, why don’t you just get below-the-knee amputations? I bet they could give you an awesome, high-tech pair of Cheetah Legs, and then you could run, play sports, hike….you could do it all!, ” he said as his thoughts drifted to Yohan’s  first gold medal sprinting win at the Paralympics.

sprint

As crazy as this idea of artificial limbs sounded at the time, it didn’t seem so far-fetched today.

Here are the facts:

-Yohan had reconstructive foot surgery in June.

-As soon as he was given the go ahead to walk, he developed a pressure sore on the ball of his foot.

-Pressure sores are persistent and in his case, a sign that his foot mechanics are off.

-Orthotic modifications have not been helpful.orthotics

-One surgeon suggested surgically lifting the big toe bone, and straightening all the toes, while a second surgeon had a completely different perspective. They do agree on one detail: Both think another surgery is imperative to get him back on his feet. We were hesitant to get a second opinion- it often confuses the picture even more, and then the patient is left to figure out the “right” solution.

Lately, I find myself saying the “F” word ….a lot.

f-word

Why? I am angry, frustrated, scared, disappointed, and did I mention, scared? It feels as if we are rolling the dice or playing Russian roulette: One wrong move and BANG!!  You are no longer walking. Maybe a classic case of negative thinking,  but that’s the analogy which came to me, so I used it.

shoulds

Today, I’ve had a bad case of the “shouldawouldacouldas,” otherwise known as regret or backward thinking. If only if we could just go back to May, to the joy and happiness of Yohan’s graduation day, with the knowledge we have today. Maybe the surgery would have gone differently. Maybe we would not even have had the surgery. Maybe he did not even need surgery. High? No, I am not high….a bit delusional perhaps, but not high.

I was even Googling “time travel + start-up companies+ Steven Hawkins” hoping to discover an investment opportunity to enhance the development for time machine technology. We could even launch a Time Travel app!  Wouldn’t that be cool? I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I did find this interesting article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1269288/STEPHEN-HAWKING-How-build-time-machine.html”time

Balderdash!! STOP. REWIND. The only way forward is to look ahead, not back.

forward

If I invest in anything, it will be in Yohan’s future and the future of so many with CMT. At least in this realm, the CMTA is making tangible and reality- based progress. If you do not know about the STAR or Strategy to Accelerate Research initiative, click here:  http://www.cmtausa.org/research/our-star-strategy/

str

We are not really ready for the cheetah leg prosthetics. Having chronic pain myself, I too fantasize about getting cool-looking prosthetic limbs. It’s tempting. I mean, who wouldn’t want to look  and get around like actor, activist and athlete Aimee Mullins?:

aimee

But, both Yohan and I are kind of attached (literally and physically) to our own feet and calves, And then, of course, there is that problem of nerve pain, phantom limb pain, emotional turmoil, financial considerations, etc…..it’s a big decision, one we are seriously not considering. But Will was right, they sure are impressive. Love you Will!

Cracking Under Pressure

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Yohan’s Foot Surgery – #17

6 months later, he is still crutching around the house.  Every time Yohan attempts to walk on the surgically repaired foot, he develops open sores and blisters on the ball of his foot. We were hopeful that the custom-made orthotic would shift his weight to a better, more functional position. It does, but his fragile skin just plain cracks under pressure.

Infection is also an on-going concern. With little sensation on the bottom of his feet, the seepage from the sore was the only indication something was amiss. Now, to avert danger, he inspects his soles day and night with a telescoping mirror.

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“You need another surgery on that same foot?”  I repeated incredulously as if I had not heard him right the first time. Sounding deflated, he explained, “Yeah… Dr. Pfeffer wants to take the pressure off the ball my foot, by surgically lifting the bone.  He also wants to straighten my toes, and I’m not too sure about that. I’m going to think about it. Anyway, all in all, it’s a 6-8 week recovery period.”

Remaining calm and collected on the outside, I steadily asked a few more questions, showed my support and told Yohan we would do whatever it takes to get him walking again. But inside, I’m all like, WTF? Another surgery? You gotta’ be kidding me. My friend, Bethany had her feet surgically repaired and now she is walking all over the place. In fact, she can walk further and longer than most people I know. And Jeana had surgeries…ONCE on each foot, and now her feet look great! She has funky pinky toes, but hey, she can dance, walk, and exercise.

As I thought about this new piece of information, I suddenly remembered all the community members on our Facebook group who had mentioned having multiple surgeries – 10, 15, 20 operations over the years. I had put these people in the category of anomalies. They must have had really bad surgeons or maybe the procedures were done a long time ago when surgeons did not know CMT and really hadn’t a clue as to what they were doing. Today, surely, with advanced technology and techniques, a second surgery on the same foot within a 6-month time frame is probably unheard of.

Many DO have multiple surgeries to correct CMT feet. It may not be news to you, but it just hit me that I must be completely delusional.

delusional-unicorn

As I count, I realize that it is more common to require several procedures on each foot, and then some over the years, than to have one surgery and be done with it. In fact, just last week I ran into a woman at the local fruit stand who commented on the Shark-O-Marie-Tooth bumper sticker on my car. “Oh, I see you have that too,” she muttered as she whisked by me.  “What do I have?” I asked a bit confused. While feeling the ripeness of a cantaloupe, she offered, “ That thing, you know- Charcot-Marie-Tooth. My husband has that too.” She moved on to the kiwi, popping bite-sized samples into her mouth. “He’s in his 70’s now and he’s had over 23 surgeries on his feet over the years.”

I almost choked on the chunk of apple that lodged itself in my throat. Funny how reality changes once you open yourself up to the world. Haven’t you ever heard a new word, idea or process, and then you hear about it again and again, wherever you look. This phenomenon actually has a name: The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.   Never heard of it? You will. Now that you are in the know, your unconscious will be scanning the environment looking for this word and you will be surprised at how often it will crop up from this day forth. This phenomenon even has its own Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TheBaaderMeinhofPhenomenon

Where was I? Ah, yes…back to Yohan.

The second surgery on the same foot is not scheduled yet, but come January 3rd, a call to Dr. Pfeffer’s surgery nurse will be made. Welcome 2017…….it can only get better, right?

PS: It’s not all doom and gloom. Yohan is finally using the knee scooter we’ve had since day 1. He wheels himself around the house with ease, running into people, objects, walls. He’s become quite adept at steering and getting around.  Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Just an FYI: CMT SUCKS

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Yohan’s Foot Surgery- #16

Thanks to all who have asked for an update on Yohan. I’ve been all caught up and preoccupied with the best-selling book, “101 Practical Tips for Dealing with CMT”.  If you have not ordered one, do so once you’ve finished reading this post. As a bonus, we are shipping all the books priority mail through December. So if you buy your copy by Dec 20, you will most likely get it in time for December 25. Here is the link:

Thanks to all who have asked for an update on Yohan. I’ve been all caught up and preoccupied with the best-selling book, “101 Practical Tips for Dealing with CMT”.  If you have not ordered one, do so once you’ve finished reading this post. As a bonus, we are shipping all the books priority mail through December. So if you buy your copy by Dec 20, you will most likely get it in time for December 25. Here is the link: http://www.cmtausa.org/101tips

updated-fpss

As for Yohan, he’s more or less become a permanent fixture in our dining room. Every once in a while I’ll stroll on by, dust him off, rearrange the furniture and water the plants. In front of his computer screen, he keeps himself busy with grad school applications, gaming, writing projects, gaming, reading, and did I mention gaming? He’d be perfect at that mannequin challenge which has gone viral over the past month or better yet, he might be able to break the Guinness World Record for competitive sitting (72 hours).

yo-dining-roomedit

Looking for Yohan? Look no Further!

The only reason I know he’s still living and breathing is that nasty cough he’s had for the past 30+ days. It almost feels like a game of psychological warfare where he’s trying to make me crack, and all truth be told, he’s succeeded. I’m worn down, my will is broken and I’m more than ready to divulge any and all information I might harbor. Let the interrogation begin!

The last time I checked in, Yohan had been cleared to walk and start PT. His progress has been molasses slow since then. Why? Pressure sores. After a week or two, these sores heal, and as soon as he’s given the green light to resume walking, they break open again. It’s so frustrating!! After surgery and casting, all his hard-earned calluses dropped away, leaving fresh, pink, baby skin. Problem is –  Yohan is 23 years old and he’s totally over the baby skin stage. Like, WAY over.

baby

He’s had a shoe insert made to relieve the force on the pressure spots. And we’ve been back and forth to San Francisco 3 times in the last month to have the orthotic modified, but we are not there yet. Just this morning, that stupid sore reopened, which means one thing: Stay off the foot and get back on crutches. UGGGGGHHHHH.

Yohan will be seeing Dr. Pfeffer next week for a consultation and we’ll go from there. If we can’t take the pressure off that one spot, he may need another procedure on that foot. No way are we delving into the second foot surgery until he is 95% ambulatory with the reconstructed one. We do not know how long that will take and grad school applications have been submitted for a fall 2017 admission.

Yohan does not like surprises. He yearns for certainty and security. We all do. How do you plan your life when you can’t really plan your life? Message from the universe: Shit happens and you just have to go with the flow. You make the best of what you’re given and deal. It’s definitely not optimal, but what choice do you have? CMT sucks.

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Question: Dealt with foot sores? Share how you managed them!

Recovery 101-Put Your “Breast” Foot Forward!

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Yohan’s Foot Surgery #15: Put your “Breast” Foot Forward!

 

What else could possibly go wrong? After the pressure sore on the bottom of Yohan’s foot had more or less healed, his big left toe got infected. At this point, he was finally in a plastic brace instead of a big, bulky walking boot. At last week’s follow-up appointment with Dr. Pfeffer, he prescribed a 10-day course of antibiotics. He also commented on how swollen Yo’s foot and leg were. He ordered an ultrasound to rule out any blood clots and recommended the use of an elasticized compression sock. A compression sock? We’ll give it a go, but how in the world are we going to put his puffy, stiff foot/leg in a binding sock? It’s going to be like trying to fit an extra fluffy comforter into a shrunken pillow case. And then I saw these compression socks on-line:

socks

Suddenly, I felt super motivated to buy and try these decorative socks on Yohan. He will just LOVE them!

And speaking about that left big toe, which curves to the left, it has always had a mind of its own, like my cactus. The other cacti follow the rules and grow straight, while the rebel cactus first has to create drama by sprouting way to the left before moving upwards.  Breaking the bad news, Dr. Pfeffer calmly voiced his opinion, “You might want to think about a second surgery to straighten that toe before it causes too many problems. With CMT, it’s not uncommon to undergo several surgeries on each foot to fix everything.” Honestly, if my thoughts had become words, they would have sounded like this: “A second surgery on the left? Let me think about that…… NO!” And then, for effect, I might have added, “Have you taken that internet insanity test I wrote about in my previous blog post?” But there were no words to be heard because we just sat there in silence and moved on quickly to the next topic.

rebel-cactusbunion_cartoon

Rebel Cactus                                                     Rebel Big Toe

The best news of the day was that Yohan could now try walking without brace and/or boot. There were no more restrictions on movement. He was not only allowed to start physical therapy but was also given the green light to walk, point, stretch, twist, turn and do the loopty-loo. Dr. Pfeffer’s parting sentiments were, “Yohan, I could not be happier with the outcome of your surgery. Your foot is perfect! You can start walking!” We left feeling pretty darn optimistic.

But the following day, we got a reality check at the Los Altos Farmer’s Market. I think the universe was telling us to slow down…..way down. For the first time all summer, Yohan decided to join me, my friend Eva and her 9-year-old daughter, Bella, to buy our fruits, vegetables, and dinner. Although Yohan walked with a limp as he got used to his new foot, he was doing extremely well, until he fainted. Yes, he passed out cold, but not before Eva stepped in to save his life.

Here is a summary of events: His sweaty palm grabbed ahold of me as he started to lose consciousness. As his eyes became unfocused and rolled up into his head, I knew I would not be strong enough to keep him upright. Every other day, I lift my 2 and 3-pound weights to keep my upper arms from sagging, but there was no way I would be able to hold up this 150-pound kid who was falling to the ground in slo-mo.

That’s when our superhero, Eva the 6-foot Diva jumped in and saved the day. Somehow, Yohan got flipped around, facing Eva, allowing her to control his descent.  With her 38 G sized breasts, she provided inflatable side airbags to cushion his fall and prevent any chance of concussion. When Yohan’s smartphone went crashing to the ground, I knew he was out like a light. I was a little worried Yohan would suffocate between her large billowy boobs, but he was not even purple when she gently sat him on the ground.

My hero, Eva

 

 

My fellow Los Altans were so accommodating. Before we knew it, Yohan was sitting on a chair, drinking a coke and talking with a nurse. His first question was, “Where is my phone?” Second question: “What happened?” As we explained the chain of events, sparing no detail, Yohan’s cheeks reddened slightly. He was quite relieved to have no recollection of falling.  At least that’s what he said.

While this whole scene unraveled, I made sure not to lose my place in the long line of people waiting for corn and potatoes. And as soon as they gave me my order, I too jumped into Eva’s motherly arms with Bella. What? I needed a hug! That was extremely scary!

As calmness settled back in, we chalked this episode up to a lack of food, too much stimulation and pain. He simply tried doing too much, too soon and ended up having an unforgettable experience that we will never, ever let him forget. As my friend Donna would say, “Eva, thanks for the mamories!”

 

 

 

Surgery is Imminent

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Yohan’s Surgery #1 – Surgery is Imminent
June 20, 2016
The Eve of Surgery

 

His toes are curled, especially the pinky toe which begs attention by standing just that much higher to make wearing any shoe a challenge. His crescent arches make walking a balancing act. His calves are as tight as the string of a bow and his ankles are turning out as the supporting tendons lose their grip. Thick, but hard earned callouses are just a bonus for winning the CMT lottery.

CMT is usually passed down from one generation to the next. It is inherited. Yet, neither my husband nor I have it. Yohan is the first person in our families to have CMT. His CMT is caused by a spontaneous genetic mutation. A mutation that can be passed on to his children, his children’s children, and so on and so forth.

Yohan will have reconstructive foot surgery tomorrow morning at 7:00 am, a surgery which has been planned for a year and scheduled for 3 months.

CMT foot

A few weeks ago, in a moment of sheer fear and anxiety, I clumsily suggested that we might want to get a second opinion on the necessity of surgery, a surgery that was only 3 weeks away.

In shocked disbelief, Yohan blurted out, “Are you expletive kidding me? After choosing to put my life on hold for a year after graduation? After all the in-depth discussions and conversations we’ve had?   No way. I’m resolute in my decision. Now let’s get this over with and put it behind us.”

Enough said. My worry asked the question and the voice of reason responded: the surgery is a go. The reality is that Yohan can no longer run, walk with confidence or stand without pain. It’s time. It’s time for an upgrade that only the hands and skills of a competent orthopedic surgeon like Dr. Pfeffer can offer. After tomorrow’s surgery and a 6-month healing process, Yohan’s calves will relax, his pinky toe will align, his arch will flatten and his tendons will be strengthened. Tomorrow brings the promise of less pain and more stability.

Any surgery is risky. And the recovery for this particular surgery is long and tedious.  But the possibilities of a new tomorrow are endless. So, when anxiety rears its ugly head, I am guided by Yohan’s words: Plan for tomorrow, then live in the now. Our brightest future lies in the sound decisions of today.